Bobby, Jefferson City
Stackolee in Hell
Get Your Ass in the Water and Swim Like Me!
"Get Your Ass in the Water and Swim Like Me" is considered one of the great, classic collections of African-American literature and folklore. Originally published by in 1974, it quickly gained the reputation as a classic collection of black folk poetry. This book will delight students of African-American culture and folklore, and anyone who enjoys the double entendres and hidden meanings found in the oral tradition, from its African roots to contemporary rap.
Henry, Ramsey version
Joe, Ellis version
Frank, Ramsey version
Bobby, Jefferson City version
Gene, Wynne version
Chicago Informant's version
Bob, Connelly Migrant Camp version
Bobby, Jefferson City, 22 June 1964
This was recited by the same white man who recited the Bobby, Jefferson City version. The opening is similar to the popular song version of the battle between Bill and Stack. The rest of the poem takes a direction quite different from the usual poem about Stackolee: here, he is gunnd down by the mother of a man he killed, and in the rest of the poem performs as a superstud rather than a homicidal badass."
-- Bruce Jackson "Get Your Ass in the Water and Swim Like Me!"
Stackolee in Hell
The other night I thought I heard a dog bark, but that was Stackolee and Billy Lion gamblin' in the dark. Stackolee says, "Now, Billy Lion, you stay here in this shack, and I don't want to see you move your motherfucken ass till I get back." Stackolee went home and got two smokin' forty-fives, he came back and placed 'em between Billy Lion's eyes. Billy Lion said, "Oh, Stackolee, don't take my life. I got four cross-yes kids and a cripple-assed wife." He said, "I don't want your four cross-eyed kids or your cripple-assed wife," said, "All I want's your cocksucken life." Shot him five times right through the head, left him on the floor quivering till he's dead. The he went and told Sister Lou just what he'd done, said "Say, Sister Lou, I just killed your no-'count cocksucken son." She said, "Well, Stackolee, you know that's not true. Hell, you and Billy been friends for a year or two." He said, "Look, bitch, if you don't think he's dead, go down and count those five fucken holes I just put in his head." Stackolee went walkin' down the track and Sister Lou snuck up behind him and shot him in the back. He shit, farted, stumbled, fell on his face right down in front of Joe's place. Stackolee's wife come runnin' out the door hollerin' "Stackolee, Stackolee! Somebody killed my Stackolee." He rolled over and said, "Look, bitch, when I die don't dress me in black, 'cause if hell don't suit me I'm comin' back." There was a rumble in the earth and a roar in the ground, that was Stackolee changin' hell around. He said, "I want tables over here and chairs over there, and don't a motherfucker move while I comb my hair." The devil said, "Look, Stackolee, I heard you's a pretty bad man in that upper land, but you know you're down here and met another bad man." Said, "Okay, Devil, you get your pitchfork and let me get two smokin' forty-ones, and us two bad motherfuckers'll have us some fun." The Devil got his pitchfork and Stackolee got two smokin' forty-ones, and those two bad sonofabitches did have some fun. Stackolee shot the devil right through the heart and he lit up like a human torch. Caught the old lady bent over shovelin' coal, put twelve inches up her hole. Four little devils runnin' around, hollerin' "Mother, mother, stop him 'fore he fucks us all." Well he fucked St. Peter and he fucked St. Paul, he'll be a fuckin' motherfucker time the roll is called.