Stagger Lee

Stackolee

It was back in the time of nineteen hundred and two,
I had a fucked-up deck a cards and I didn't know what to do.
My woman was leavin', she was puttin' me out in the cold.
I said, "Why you leavin' me, baby?" She said, "Our love has grown cold."
So she kept packin' the bags, so I said, "Fuck it," you know.
So I waded through water and I waded through mud
and I came to this town called the Bucket of Blood.
And I asked the bartender for something to eat,
he gave me a dirty glass a water and a tough-assed piece a meat.
I said, "Bartender, bartender, don't you know who I am?"
He said, "Frankly, my man, I don't give a goddamn."
I said, "My name is Stackolee."
He said, "Oh, yes, I heard about you up this way,
be I fed you hungry motherfuckers each and every day."
'Bout this time the poor bartender had gone to rest --
I pumped six a my rockets in his motherfucken chest.
A woman ran out the back screamin' real loud, said,
"I know my son ain't dead!"
I said, "You just check that hole in the ugly motherfucker's head."
She say, "You may be bad, your name may be Stack,
but you better not be here when Billy Lions get back."
So I walkd around the room and I seen this trick,
and we went upstairs as we started real soon.
Now me and this broad we started to tussle
and I drove twelve inches a dick through her ass before she could move a muscle.
We went downstairs where we were before,
we fucked on the table and all over the floor.
'Bout that time you could hear the drop of a pin --
that bad motherfucker Bily Lions had just walked in.
He walked behind the counter, he seen the bartender dead,
he say "Who put this hol in this ugly motherfucker's head."
Say, "Who can this man's murderer be?"
One motherfucker say, "You better speak soft, his name is Stackolee."
He say, "Stack, I'm gonna give you a chance to run before I draw my gun."
Bitch jumped up and said, "Billy, please."
He shot that whore through both her knees.
A pimp eased up and turned out the lights
and I had him dead in both my sights.
When the lights came back on poor Billy had gone to rest.
I had pumped nine a my rockets in his motherfucken chest.
The next day about half-past ten
I was standin' before the judge and twelve other good men.
They say, "What can this man's charges be?"
One sonofabitch say, "Murder in the first degree."
Another say, "What can this man's penalty be?"
One say, "Hang him," another say, "Give his gas."
A snaggle-tooth bitch jumped up and say,
"Run that twister through his jivin' ass!"
My woman jumpd up and said, "Let him go free,
'cause there ain't nobody in the world can fuck like Stackalee."