Bobby, Jefferson City
Stackolee
Get Your Ass in the Water and Swim Like Me!
"Get Your Ass in the Water and Swim Like Me" is considered one of the great, classic collections of African-American literature and folklore. Originally published by in 1974, it quickly gained the reputation as a classic collection of black folk poetry. This book will delight students of African-American culture and folklore, and anyone who enjoys the double entendres and hidden meanings found in the oral tradition, from its African roots to contemporary rap.
Henry, Ramsey version
Joe, Ellis version
Frank, Ramsey version
Gene, Wynne version
Chicago Informant's version
Bob, Connelly Migrant Camp version
Stackolee in Hell
This version was told by a white informant, a Missouri penitentiary inmate who has learned it from blacks while a child. Stack's line, "Looked at her pussy, said it good enough to eat," is never found in any black toast I've heard. The woman's reply, "You better do it, daddy, or you'll never see the streets," would in the black toasts produce terrific invective. In the white version it produces nothing; the next line finds the hero in an alley sometime later, and no more mention is made of the whore. Note the teller's frequent use of the word, "bastard," a word which never appears in the the black texts, for it never developed among blacks the insult function it has among whites." -- Bruce Jackson "Get Your Ass in the Water and Swim Like Me!"
Bobby, Jefferson City, 22 June 1964
Stackolee
"This is supposed to be about two colored studs. It's truth. In New Orleans. That's a true one. I mean, it's true, though. Did you know that?" Was back in thirty-two when times were hard, I had a sawed-off shotgun and a cold deck a cards. Wore a brown Squire suit and a big beaver hat, and if you motherfuckers ever saw me I was dressed like that. Wore brown suede shoes and a diamond-studded cane, had a twelve-inch peg with a be-bop chain. Now times turned hard and the weather grew cold, my old lady kicked my ass out, said her love had grown cold. So I took me a walk down to Rampart Street where all the bad motherfuckers are supposed to meet. I walked through six inches a shit and ten inches a mud to a place they call the Bucket of Blood. Called to the bartender to give me a bite to eat, he give me a muddy glass a water and a tough piece of meat. I say, "Say, sonofabitch, don't you know who I am?" He said, "Frankly, mister, I don't give a damn." He said, "I've hard of you down the way, I meet you raggedy-ass bastards damn near every day." Well, the motherfucker never said much more, for one of my bullets laid the bastard dead on the floor. A lady walked in, said, "Oh, God, please." I said, "Speak softly, mam, his mind is at ease." She said, "Please don't tell me my son is dead." I said, "If you don't believe it, cunt, look at the hole in his head." She said, "I've heard of you, you bastard, your name is Stack, but you better not be here when Billy Lion gets back." "I'll be here when the time comes and pass, and fuck your Billy Lion right dead in his ass." So there sat a broad all sexy and sweet, so I walked right over and I pulled up a seat. I said, "Say, bitch, don't think me silly, but who is that stud they call Billy?" She said, "He's tall, dark, and handsome like he's supposed to be." She reached in her purse and pulled out a square [cigarette]. She said, "Don't worry, daddy, he's no where." Well I could see right away the bitch went for this clown, I said, "Move along, cunt, I'm putting you down." Over the next table the whore give me a smile, said it looked I hadn't had any in quite a while. I said, "My wife kicked my ass out and locked the door and I been lookin' around for a good-lookin' whore." She looked at her watch, it was half-past eight. She said, "Come up on my place, daddy, we'll get things straight." So I went right up and locked the door, I just had to get a look at that frantic whore. Looked at her pussy, said it was good enough to eat, she said, "You better do it, daddy, or you'll never see the streets." Woke up in an alley and went back to the bar, and there at the end stood Billy Lions, a bad motherfucker, there's no denyin'. He said, "Who can the murderer of this good man be?" I said, "Me, motherfucker, my name's Stackolee." He said, "Yeah, I heard of you down at the shitty ditch, but you tore your ass when you fucked my bitch." Lady jumped up and hollered, "Oh, Billy, please!" And he shot that bitch clean to her knees. A man jumped up and hollered, "Someone call the law!" And he shot that bastard clear through the jaw. He landed on the floor with his hands on his face and pieces of his jaw scattered all over the place. I fucked all the whores and drank the place dry and fell on the floor with blood in my eyes. A cop walked in and said, "Who can this drunken bastard be?" Lady said, "Speak softly, officer, his name is Stackolee." Woke up next mornin' it was half-past ten, in front of a judge and twelve good men. The judge said, "Well, now, what can the charges against this good man be?" It was drunk and rape and murder in the first degree. Said, "Well now, Stackolee, you've led a simple life, fucked your sister and killed your wife. There's only one thing left for me to do, that;s give you twenty years time." I said, "Well, fuck judge, that's nothin': my mother's doin' twenty-nine."